Saturday, March 14, 2009

Three variations on the same joke

So Barack Obama, in a new attempt at bipartisanship, decides to have lunch with Rush Limbaugh and Michael Steele. They go to the usual beltway restaurant.

“Well, I’m a red-blooded American,” says Limbaugh, “so I’m going to have a giant rare steak.”

“I’m a health-conscious liberal,” says Obama, “so I’m going to have the arugula salad.”

“I don’t know what to order,” says Steele. “What do total douche bags have for lunch?”

Note: It seems strange that a grown man doesn’t know what he likes for lunch.

So Obama and Rush and Michael Steele meet at a bar, for bipartisan symbolism. Obama orders the local microbrew. Rush asks for a Guinness Stout. Michael Steele, pauses, then asks, “What do total idiots like to drink?”

Notes: Quicker, though the call-and-response nature of the first version, which directly linked each order to its respective political stereotype, is lost. Bar is of course a good location.

Taking a new stab at bipartisanship, Obama invites Rush and Michael Steel to fly on Air Force One. Rush has a Guinness Stout, Obama has an Air Force One Microbrew, and Steele has an O’Doul’s.

Suddenly the pilot announces that the plane is going down, and the secret service passes out parachutes for each flyer. Obama gets his own “Presidential Parachute.” Rush, worrying about his great size, takes two parachutes, leaving Steele without.

“Can I have another O’Doul’s?” asks Steele. “I’m a big douche-bag idiot!”

Notes: While some of the key details from both previous jokes, as well as the new Air Force One detail, definitely give this one a sense of place, it’s again long, and some of the business is confusing. Having Steele drink a nonalcoholic beer, O’Doul’s, is a bit of a red herring. Having him drink a different brand might fix that, but what kind of drink would a stupid douche like Michael Steel order?

--Dan Kilian

Bobby Jindal
Obama Song

1 comment:

  1. Hey Dan, how about this one? - James

    In a symbolic bi-partisan gesture Barack Obama, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Steele all volunteer to help out at a women’s shelter for a day. As they are leaving the shelter they talk with a few reporters.

    Obama says, “Even though I am not a computer whiz I helped organize the fund raising data base. I’m not too proud to do the little things. Just call me computer guy Joe.”

    Limbaugh says, “Even though I’m no master chef I helped out in the kitchen and made sure everyone got a full lunch. I’m not too proud to roll up my sleeves. Just call me lunch guy Joe.”

    Michael Steele says, “Even though I didn’t bring any cleaning supplies or a trash bags I helped clean out the women’s restroom. I’m not too proud to carry around a little garbage until I can find a dumpster. Just call me douche bag.”