Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Necrophiliac Jokes

What's "third base" to a necrophiliac? The same thing it usually is, only with a dead person.

What do necrophiliacs call morticians? Pimps.

What does a Necrophiliac call a dentist? A future lover.

Why dentists? Dentists die too.

How do you avoid being molested by a necrophiliac? Don't die. That's the only way.

What's a necro's idea of a romantic date? Digging up a corpse and having sex with it.

What do you call it when your husband makes bad coffee and digs up dead bodies to have sex with them? Grounds for divorce.

A pedophile walks into a bar and orders three drinks "One for my brother in Ireland, one for my brother in L.A. and one for me." It's a regular tradition the regulars grow accustomed to. One day he comes in and only orders two beers. The bartender grows somber and says, "I'm sorry for your loss." "What are you talking about? I've just given up drinking!" All the while he harbors a pathological compulsion to have sex with dead people.

What does the necrophiliac consider disgusting sexual behavior? Certainly his own behavior is abhorrent to himself, but he just can't stop he just can't stop it's like he's watching himself in a nightmare as he climbs onto yet another dead body which he said he would never do again, just like he said all the other times but he just can't stop he just can't stop.

What's a necrophiliac's safety word? "I'm alive."

Isn't that two words? You will be sexually abused by a necrophiliac after you die.

--Dan Kilian

--------------------------------------------- Michael Steele Jokes
--------------------------------------------- Garfield Minus Garfield

16 comments:

  1. These jokes suck donkey balls.

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  2. Replies
    1. I'm not sure why you are on here then.

      Delete
  3. DEAD donkey balls

    By the way, we're over here now.

    http://klogtheblog.wordpress.com/

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  4. not one of those was even remotely amusing...and I was looking for NECROPHILIA jokes, so how amazing a sense of humour can I have?

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  5. The Reviews are not good for "Necrophiliac Jokes." Probably written in the heady days when there HAD to be one posting a day. Maybe one day we'll revisit the subject with renewed vigor. Until then, let's see what I think is really funny....try this!

    http://klogtheblog.wordpress.com/category/2010/10/26/octopus-man-2-the-amazing-man-spider/

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  6. These are awful and have discouraged me from considering any other part of this site.

    Go die in a car wreck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go fuck yourself you dumb nigger

      Go fuck yourself you dumb nigger

      Go fuck yourself you dumb nigger

      Go fuck yourself you dumb nigger

      Go fuck yourself you dumb nigger

      Go fuck yourself you dumb nigger

      Go fuck yourself you dumb nigger

      Delete
  7. I used to get away with being a necrophiliac..
    ut then some dirty rotten c*nt split on me!

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  8. this is so disturbing, you should be ashamed of yourself. thank you.;)

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  9. -_- Epic fail at jokes, What is the difference between a black guy and a Jew? The black guy got put in the back of the oven ^_^

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  10. I love a good sick joke as much as anyone, but seriously, those examples don't even make sense. Jokes are supposed to make you laugh, not make you go "Huh?".

    Good examples of bad taste jokes:

    What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve ?
    ..Christopher Walken.

    A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The barman says "Hey, that's pretty cool, where'd you get it?" and the parrot says "Africa. There's millions of 'em".

    A pedophile and little kid are walking through the woods at night. The kid says "Ooh, I'm scared" and the pedophile says "You're scared ? I have to walk home by myself."

    What's the smallest pub in the world ?
    ..The Thalidomide Arms.

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  11. Necro after a long day "I think I'll go home and crack open a couple cold ones " :)

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    Replies
    1. The only necro joke here that is funny!!! Great joke by the way.

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  12. WHAT'S THE BENEFIT OF DATING A NECROPHILIAC? YOU CAN BE ROTTEN AND THEY'LL LOVE YOU ANYWAY.

    ReplyDelete