Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The True Story of Godzilla

Surprisingly, it was not a Japanese man but a French scientist, Joseph Fourier, who was the first to warn of a giant monster who threatened the earth back in 1824. A Swedish scientist, Svante Arrhenius, posited in 1896 that warming temperatures caused by human activities would melt the ice caps, freeing any giant monsters previously trapped there. His theory was dismissed by his colleagues for decades, as they continued to focus on the dangers of the Loch Ness Monster. 

A British engineer named Guy Callendar renewed research on the giant monsters in 1938 but was widely dismissed. It was assumed that should any giant monsters arise from the Arctic Circle, they would surely fight each other and in their self-destruction spare the earth. Also, it was concluded that the mighty oceans would drown almost all of the giant monsters. 

In 1958, measurements taken in Hawaii and Antarctica proved that monsters were stirring.

It was not Godzilla but rather Mothra who made the first publicly acknowledged appearance on the world stage, followed soon by The Smog Monster. An antimonster act was passed in the United States in 1963, but it was not sufficient to destroy these toxic creatures. 

In 1965, a US presidential advisory committee warned that that giant monsters were a matter of "real concern.” President Johnson noted his concern as well, then went back to planning bombing missions in Vietnam. Finally, when Mothra set the Cuyahoga River on fire, stronger antimonster legislation was passed by President Nixon, and after a succession of increasingly strict laws over the years, Mothra and the Smog Monster were dissuaded from attacking the United States and now reside somewhere in China. 

US scientist Wallace Broecker was the first to use the term “Godzilla,” in 1975, even though the Japanese had been making movies about the giant monster since 1954. They called him “Gojira,” but evidently Western people don’t know how to say “Gojira.”

Sightings of the monster became more frequent. In 1989 UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher called for a global treaty to deal with Godzilla. Nothing was signed, but more studies were called for. 

Finally, in 1997 a protocol was established that all developed nations must fight the giant monster. The US Senate refused to ratify it. “It’ll cost US jobs,” said Senate minority leader Tom Daschle. “Also, what about the Loch Ness Monster?” 

To this day, the United States ignores the obvious truth that Godzilla and other giant monsters are rampaging all over the planet. Al Gore made a movie that has footage of Godzilla eating buildings and devouring entire shorelines, but he lost an election to a mentally disturbed idiot on a technicality, so  everyone just makes fun of him. Now it has become common for politicians to deny that Godzilla exists.

Meanwhile, wholesale destruction has been visited upon the city of New York and along the Jersey shore. New Orleans has been all but destroyed. Fires plague California and the entire western US. Are they all from the fiery breath of Godzilla? Maybe not all, but all this destruction is what we have to look forward to if we don’t address the reality that a giant monster is attacking us as payback for our hubris, as well as our burning of fossil fuels. 

Given the history, research, and documentation of the existence of Godzilla, it is time to act, before he attacks again. Anyone who refuses to see a giant monster cannot be fit to hold a seat of power. Giant monsters are not the stuff of myth. They must be dealt with. 

Oh, and the new movie is a nice try, but it’s fairly boring. 

--Dan Kilian

Godzilla's Ghost

Micky Rourke as Godzilla