Thursday, April 9, 2009


He felt woozy, and left work early. It was like he'd taken a bad, overlong nap. He went home and he did take a long nap, and felt the same. He contemplated seeing a doctor. Next week he'd set up an appointment.

What did it? Certainly not his lunch. The "edible vomit:" chili and mac and cheese, with hot dog slices. Surely that would mess up his digestion, not his head. Got to change that name. Paul recommended "McChili." Maybe I'll go with that.

He wondered if this was a sort of rite of passage, if everyone went through this but didn't note the moment. Maybe you hit a certain age when you start to wooze, and you get used to it. You compensate for the wobble in your step, the extra air in your skull, the funny taste in your mouth.

He tried to raise his blood sugar. Peanut M & Ms. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Chinese food. Ginger ale. Root beer. Now I'm bloated and woozy.

He floated between persons. He was watching himself, he was talking to himself, he was me. Tenses twist as well.

This is a very autobiographical piece. You can ask me and I'll deny it. It's a fiction. It's a little story that didn't go anywhere. He thought there was something to the whole conspiracy of woozy people. They were closing in on him, like zombies, only less steady. They were of a certain age and one day they got lightheaded and never stopped and that's why older people are so strange. They can barely function.

Only he's clear beneath the wooze, like a stoned person watching yourself from within.

What if I'm dying? That's how it happens. You're feeling weird, then you drop.

That would suck if this is my last blog. He wrote.

Maybe if I go experimental with it, it can still be worthwhile, even without a plot arc, you think.

No something's got to happen. Wooziness isn't a story.

Suddenly a hoard of flesh eating caterpillars oozed bloblike into his apartment. He was lying on the floor, moaning. They devoured him.

------------------------------------------ More Caterpillars
------------------------------------------ Necrophiliac Jokes

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