Dialogue: Ford’s Ghost and Obama

You need help?

Are you…ah…John Adams?

No! I’m Gerald Ford!

Oh…ah…yes.

I presided over the darkest period in our nation’s history!

Worse than…

The darkest period!

Yes, ah…much appreciated. I keep trying to get Lincoln or…ah…FDR?

You’ve got issues with these torture memos? Clandestine skullduggery that goes up to the top?

Yes. I’m trying to…ah…move forward but…um…

Pardon ‘em!

Yes?

Regardless of consequences! Our long national nightmare must end! Whatever the political cost!

Actually, I think it might help me politically to just…ah…look the other way. You see, since 9-11…civil liberties haven’t been very…

Even if it costs you an election! The greatest presidents were the ones who lost elections on principal!

Barack! You talking to Ford?

Is that you, Dickie?

Hello, President…um…Nixon. Didn’t expect to…see you…so soon!

Have you instituted Wage and Price Controls yet?

I’m…working on it.

You’ll have to pardon Dick’s pushiness, President Obama. Get it? Pardon?

Yeah Gerry, it’s goddamn hilarious. Wage and Price controls!

Why do you get to come along with …ah…Ford?

We have an agreement!

No we don’t Dickie! On last thing, Mr. President.

Yes?

Look out for Chevy Chase. He can destroy you.

--Dan Kilian

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