Celebrity Farts

Angelina Jolie: Thhhhhhhit thit. thit-thit-thit-thit-thit

Hugh Jackman: Frut. Froof! Froughhhh…

Madonna: Myiph. Myiiiiiiiiiiiiph. Myip myip rriphirriphliphiphloop.

Mick Jagger: PHlubbblebleblebleugh! PHHHLough.

Bill Gates: Thhhhhhhhhyeeeeeee…eeeeee…

Phillip Seymour Hoffman: Hrough. Phlough. Phloophlough. PHLOPH!

Mike Tyson: Hubbleghough! Phrrrroooghlegouph! Phhhhhhyough!

Bob Dylan: THIZiizzzith… …thzzzziithisss…ssss…

Sean Connery: MPHRROOOT! MPHROP opop op op OP! MPHROOOOMPH!

Brittany Spears: Puph uph uph. Pwwimph!

Barak Obama: Phooooo… …ooph.

Michell Obama: PuphROOPH! PHruphruphrup.

Malia Obama: Phwiph. Phwiph. Phwiphwiphwpiph.

Sasha Obama: PHWAPH! Ha ha ha! PHOMPH! HA HA HA! PHOOPH! HAHA HA HAHA HA HAHA HA HAHAHA HAHA HA HAHA HA HAHA HA!

--Dan Kilian

Author’s note I: This was a lot funnier spoken. Try reading it aloud.

Author’s note II: I put a lot of thought into this. Hope you appreciate it.

Author’s note III: While I doubt they or anyone near them would read this, I would like to apologize to the First Lady and Malia, who I imagine would be shy about her natural gasses, but felt they should be included so we could get to Sasha, so we could get some closure on this exercise. I would like to think Sasha can still laugh at her farts.

Sesame Street

Lincoln