A Gay Six Way Marriage Celebration

Maine has just become the sixth state to honor gay marriage. This is the most significant milestone since the first state allowed it. Why? Because of a certain law of mental organization: no one can keep track of over five things. Unless you are either an organized booster for gay marriage, or some religious jerk trying to “protect marriage,” that is, unless you are actively doing something about this issue, you have now forgotten which states actually allow gay marriage. Come on; see if you can list them.

It’s normal to celebrate the spread of gay marriage as a measure of tolerance and progress. I’m also sure it’s fun to decry it because, well, because you don’t like gay people. Still, the war is almost over, and the point is made, because gay marriage is too common to keep track of. It’s more than five. The period of celebration and abhorrence is over. The period of not giving a fuck has begun.

Blessed, blessed state of not giving a fuck! Let glorious apathy reign! Did you see that movie Rachel Getting Married? The events occur are at an interracial marriage, and it’s not about an interracial marriage. It’s not even about TV On The Radio, though the guy from TV On The Radio is in the movie, and TV On The Radio is a band with a number of black players, but they’re not about black rock, whatever that might be. To further digress along this line, I would like to make the point that if TV On The Radio is Barack Obama, then Fishbone was Jesse Jackson. Sly and the Family Stone was Shirley Chisolm. My point is that interracial marriage is no big deal. Doesn’t happen too much, but it’s no great controversy. I suspect that there will be statistically less gay marriages proportionally to straight ones (Let’s face it, getting married is a really straight thing to do.), but soon we will be blasé about it as well.

Because if you can’t keep track of something, you can’t care about it. I’m not saying that’s always a good thing, but the fact is that if something’s bigger than five it’s commonplace. That is what we celebrate today: the commonplacity, the over-fiveness of gay marriage. Oh and the state you couldn’t get? That was Connecticut. Everyone forgets about Connecticut.

--Dan Kilian

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