Monday, June 29, 2009

Adventures in Filing

Day 1

Charlotte brings the folders to his desk. Two stacks, about a foot and a half high.

Day 2

Look at those stacks!

Day 3

He stacks the manila folders. Mostly 47000s and 48000s, with the odd 45000, a few 46000s. One 43457. Now there are five stacks.

Day 4

All right, 43457, it’s time to send you home. He picks up the folder and brings it back to the storage closet. 45003-45997, 44408-44499, 44001-44449, 39501-39998… and 39002-39499! There you go! He opens the box and flips through, and deposits his folder. He’s one fifth of the way through with his job.

Day 5

Look at those stacks!

Day 8

Pop the box together. The tight solidity of the cardboard sliding together flush into a rectangular cube is very satisfying. Onto the drawers. 46002-46048, 46502-46099, all the way up to 46498, it all goes into the box. Into the storage closet. Now the fat sharpie, to make 46002-46498 an official storage box, and to get high. Again he considers whether he should order purple sharpies. Would that affect the high?

Day 9

He grabs a cluster of green hanging file folders and repositions them in the drawer. Now there’s room for his manila folders. In they go. Wait a minute, 46880, you don’t go with the 48000s! Disaster averted! File, damn you! File!

Day 10

Down to one stack. Look at that stack!

Editor’s Note: While this story is loosely based on true events, I changed the name of my co-worker Chi to Charlotte, to preserve her anonymity. Also, the numbers have been altered slightly, and there are really two stacks remaining, one stacked perpendicularly atop the other. I was filing the 47000s when the idea of “Adventures in Filing,” occurred to me, so I had to stop everything to satisfy The Muse. Welcome to meta-fiction bitches! Are you reading about filing or are you reading about reading about writing about filing? Where is reality now? File that!
--Dan Kilian
Adventures in Solitaire
Dialogue With The Loch Ness Monster

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