Thursday, March 3, 2011

Michelangelo On a Camping Trip

Writer’s note: While I have done extensive research into the customs of Renaissance society, I do not claim 100% accuracy in this historical depiction of the artist Michelangelo on a camping trip. It’s conceivable that some anachronisms may occur.

There is a town in North Ontario…

I’ve got to go piss.

Me too!

I’ll watch the fire. All my memories are there…and in my mind….helpless helpless….

Ha ha ha ha!

It’s not really.

What’s going on?

Liam Neeson, meet Milton Berle!


He thinks…

You guys are both enormous!


I’ve seen you both! I’m never introducing you to my girlfriend again!

Oh come on!

Seriously, you should both be in porn!

I don’t think so.

No, you’re right. It sucks. They have to pose for hours on end. Unfortunately, those porn guys are all I can get as models for my nudes. Throws everything out of proportion.

How do you mean?

Well, they’re all packing walruses, like you guys. If I made a David or an Adam with a huge putz like that, people would think I’m some kind of perv. So I’ve got to redo the schlong to regular, human size.

Oh…so that’s…

I just have to look down. So that’s me up on the Sistine Chapel.


Ha ha ha! I’ve got to piss AGAIN! These beers are going right through me! I’ll be right back.

See you!

Don’t get lost!




Do you think we should tell him?

Never. He should never know.

Don’t you think he’ll figure it out someday?

Not from me. And not from you.

Probably the right thing to do.

Definitely. It would crush him.


Now get me a beer. And let’s make some s’mores.

--Dan Kilian

Khomeini and Khamenei: A Dialogue

The Michelangelo Project


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