Thursday, March 25, 2010

So What's Next?

♫O-oh happy days are here again♪…Hello Rahm! Axel! Neither of you is getting fired today!

Congratulations once again Mr. President.

#*@%-ing A, Mr. President.

I’m afraid swearing is no longer your trade-mark, Rahm. Biden’s cornered the market. …♫The skies above are clear again♪...


So Mr. President, about your agenda...

Yes, what’s next? Another post signing ceremony? A celebratory ball? Cocaine and hookers? I’m just kidding about that last one. It still kind of sucks to be president. Bubba, you ruined it for all of us! I don’t even care. My mooooood….is gooooooooood! …♫all that...other stuff is…cheer?…again♪...

Well, we were thinking about what’s next on the agenda.

A party? A victory lap around congress?

No, we mean the stuff that still needs to be done. The economy, the financial overhaul, cap and trade, Social Security, immigration...

Ahh, let Pelosi take care of that.

She’s kind of spent her wad getting this health care bill through. No one wants any controversy before November. It might be on us.

First of all, Rahm, never refer to the lovely Madame Speaker as “spending her wad” ever again. And secondly, who do you mean by “us”?

I mean…The White House.

Which is?

Which is you.

Right. Well I just bumped myself up from a blurb during black history month to The Most Significant President in Over Forty Years, so I am not doing jack for a good bit now. I’m going to Indonesia and Guam. In the meantime, why don’t you round me up some commissions for all these problems, get the usual suspects, and every month or so I’ll make a few little speeches about it. We aren’t doing #*@% for the rest of the year.

As you wish, Mr. President.

Oh and Social Security? I want it to cover everyone. And I want that to lower the deficit.

I don’t think we can do that, Mr. President.

Oh yes we can! We can do anything! ♫HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!!!♪

--Dan Kilian

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Three Variations On the Same Scatological Joke

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