Live Blogging The Oscars

This year I look at The Oscars from a fresh perspective, that of someone who had something else to do than watch the Oscars. I hosted my OPEN MIK, first night, opening against the Oscars. I still think I get the experience.

Pre-show red carpet: Lots of dresses made out of Styrofoam. Everyone seems uncomfortable but happy.

Doogie Howser is singing some song Billy Chrystal wrote for him. Time to go to the show.

They're watching the Oscars at the bar. Miley Cyrus and that cute girl who was really good in Jennifer's Body are giggly.

They still want me to perform. At least one person wants to open mic. I spell it mic when I'm talking about open microphones as nouns or bullshit verbs in general, and OPEN MIK when I refer to my specific show.

I remember that The Oscars are for the most part boring as shit.

Singing a song, I see most eyes in the house sneaking peaks at the silent television screen. If it were an Avatar montage, I'd understand, but An Education? Why do they put TVs inside bars?

Penelope Cruz is very pretty.

The Academy loves a southern accent.

Looks like Jeff Bridges won. Good for him.

Wrapped up the show. Wasn't so bad! Got paid! All hail The Diving Bell!

Chick from The Hurt Locker won. Good for her!

Now the orchestra is  playing that Moon and New York City song from Arthur. Was  that the last memorable song to win an Academy Award?

Now I'm reading about it in the paper, next morning. I should clarify. I'm reading about the Oscars, to see if I missed anything. For some reason, I see no reporting on my OPEN MIK.

--Dan Kilian

Final Thought on The Oscars

Join In