Awkward Conversation Near the Breakfast Buffet at The U.N.

These lemon poppy muffins are delicious! Oh...ah...hello.

Hello, President Obama.



I was hoping this…ah…wouldn’t…I’ve got to say hello to…Hugo! Hello! Loved the book!



Just a minute Mr. President.

Really, I don’t want to talk to you.

Why do you treat me so badly?

Well, you stole an election.

The people voted for me!

There are too many reports of irregularities. Your election was a fraud.

I’m sorry you feel that way.

We’re supposed to stand for democracy. But let’s get Realpolitik. We’ve dealt with autocrats before, and we’ve dealt with bad players who have corrupt regimes, but you don’t even seem to have control over your country. I can’t respect that. I can’t deal with you.

Don’t you have anything nice to say about me?

The beard’s looking very nice these days.

Well, I thank you for that. Have a good U.N. session, Mr. President.

You too, President Karzai.

--Dan Kilian

A Nonsensational Speech On the Detainee Abuse Photos by Barack Obama

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