Friday, April 29, 2011

The Fire Blooms Where The Flower Burns

The fire blooms where the flower burns or does the flower burn where the fire blooms? Water runs but it cannot hide. That’s another thing that’s simply not true. Some things are simply not true, some things are simply true but complicated lies. Where does the truth lie? The devil lies in a bed of flames, but he doesn’t get much sleep. He dreams of heaven and he wakes up screaming.

Now it’s in vogue to preach that Hell isn’t a place, but that just uproots the fiery flower and lets it walk around on legs.

Every flower is a Venus Flytrap, only some plants are hunting bigger game. Hunt your game, but don’t play with your food.

Cook your own food. Choose your own poison. You’ll die smiling and spend less money on lunch.

You can bet your lunch money that a horse with no name won’t win the race. They never named the horses the horsemen of the Apocalypse ride in on, but they probably have names.

Remember that movie “The Thing?” The original? An alien vegetable man in the Arctic. Is there an alien vegetable man in the fire? He probably gets wilted pretty quick. Have to admit I thought speculating about alien fire vegetable men would take me to a more bad-ass place.

Rust and fire are just different speeds of oxidization. If you get in the middle lane on that highway, it’s just called breathing. End result is always the same.

Fire has a name. That name is Bernie.

Fire! I take your learn!

--Dan Kilian

The program to last Thursday's show. If you were there, thanks, Matt, Colleen and Sue.

Maureen Dowd Guest Column

The Putt Putt: World’s Best Mini Golf, Holes 1-9

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