Friday, May 13, 2011

Waiting for The Other Foot to Fall Off

We’re all waiting for the other shoe to drop, but these days it’s raining shoes from the sky. Clearly the planet is trying to get rid of us, but we shall kill it before it kills us. I remember this ghost comic book I read a long long time ago where this man is pursued by a ghost until the ghost kills him, and then he’s all glad because now he’s a ghost and can turn the tables.  It’s like we nuked Japan only to create Godzilla, and then we nuked the world to destroy Godzilla. Then Japan got into the nuke business. When that’s all over there’ll be someone to say ah that was nothing we’ve got nothing to fear from nukes. Personally, I have a problem with a business that produces poisonous material that stays deadly forever. Forever is a mighty long time, and a very small place. I wonder if each time a President gets into power he’s all gung-ho until the interview with the mysterious little scientist explains to him that it’s all over anyway, so just go have fun being President. I hope not. My greatest hopes are hope nots. My favorite not is a knot. When bones start breaking, ghosts attack ghosts. The seven skeletons turn into a jumble of bones and no one knows who’s who or what bone’s connected to the which bone. Witch bone is a powerful medicine, helps with the sex life. That’s why newlyweds are always  killing old women. Maybe a new beast will rise from the jumble of broken bones. Repurpose the jagged breaks as claws or teeth. The broken bone beast will waddle awkwardly through the trees, clutching its crutches, jumping on wounded creatures in the woods, stealing their skin, draping torn muscle and hide over its skeleton, ripping loose the sinews and tying the crutches and canes to the broken bones until a lumpy mass of flesh forms some zombie Frankenstein. It wonders how it moved before it had all this wonderful misshapen muscle. It leaps and runs through the tall grasses, a creature at last. It runs and it runs until it trips and breaks its ankle and remembers that it’s not an animal at all, but just a jumble of broken bones.

--Dan Kilian

Why I Listen to Monster Magnet

The Hall of IP

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