This morning in the subway tunnel a cockroach the size of a lobster flew onto the guy in front of me's's umbrella and marched up his back. I froze, then said, "SIR! There's SOMETHING on your back!" I probably should have said "There's a GIANT COCKROACH on your back," and then he might not have been so frightened when he looked back into the face of that awful creature. I knocked the beast off him and stomped him to death. My guts are still churning.