Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Political Chess

There are a few ways this thing could go:

Somehow, via backroom deal-making that would put the cornhusker kick-backs to shame, Obama brings the Democrats along with the compromise. Someone kidnaps someone close to Bernie Sanders or threatens to release his cousin the Colonel’s secret recipe to Wikileaks (rymes with wicked weak, which I realize that joke is), shutting down his filibuster threats. Then we get the closest thing to a stimulus (unemployment, payroll holiday, couple other things) Obama could get out of this gridlocked town, and the best bet for an economic recovery, while the Dems get to keep a beloved cause they can run away from in two years.

Or they could call a vote, and determine that there isn’t a supermajority for it. The Dems will start to like that in-the-minority-fuck-all-of-you feeling. THEN Obama sits down with everybody and they try to pass Chuck Schumer’s tax cuts for everyone but the millionaires thing. Surely the Republicans would go for that. Then we get that sort-of stimulus, Obama gets credit for trying to compromise and business starts hiring people, and a new golden age for Democrats unfolds.

Or maybe the Republicans, who have already shown that they care more about tax-cuts and political victory than deficits, the unemployed and loose nukes combined, say, well we tried but now everyone gets a tax hike. “Obama said he wouldn’t raise your taxes, but he did.” Obama will say “No, no, THEY did it when they didn’t go along with out plan because bla bla bla…” and the swing voters will listen to the Republicans, because their taxes DID go up. Unemployment and misery reign, to the cynical delight of the Republicans. America becomes a second rate nation then a third and then dies. Canada and the Mexican drug gangs divvy up the corpse.

Any other options? (Sit down, Mike B!)  Nope. Didn’t think so.


--Dan Kilian

Humanizing Death From Above by MQ1-178

Oblivial Day

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