Cricket

--Dan Kilian

Dialogue with the Loch Ness Monster 

Three Thoughts On St. Pat

 

 

Best Intellectual Jokes

These jokes have been culled from the smartest corners of the internet, as well as MIT and Harvard Science forums. Only the brightest will get them, so if you’re not amused, it’s probably because you’re fucking retarded.

An intellectual’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” He goes out, gets drunk, and fucks a prostitute.

Q: How many intellectuals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Photons or something.

Three intellectuals walk into a bar. Bartender says do you all want a drink? They’re like “fucking of course, we just walked into a bar.”

A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says “Are you a Hindu? I fucking hate Hindus.”

An intellectual was fucking a cat in the middle of the street. When people noticed him, he said, “Hey! I’m fucking Schrodinger’s cat! Or AM I?”

An engineer, a chemist, and an economist are fucking this whore. The Engineer says “I’ll fuck her in the ass. The chemist says “I’ll fuck her in the mouth.” The economist says “Let’s slit her throat.”

Two intellectuals walk into a bar. One says “I bet I can take a crap on the bar and the bartender will just laugh!” The other says “You’re on!” so the first intellectual jumps up on a stool and takes a huge dump on the bar. The bartender says “What the fuck!” and grabs a bat and comes for him. As they’re running away, the first intellectual says “Well I thought it was funny!” 

--Dan Kilian 

Fab Facts about The Beatles Rock Band Game

Adventures in Solitaire

 

 

The training of a Grelladin Swordsman

The training of a Grelladin swordsman traditionally includes the use of sloar-beast bladders, of which only the seventh and ninth are used.  The others are too small* or, in the case of the fifth, sacred and as such reserved for the High Rituals. 

The bladders are carefully extracted and sealed shut with a small morsel of turtle flesh within them.  As the flesh rots it releases various gases which fill the bladder and inflate it to several times its normal size.  These gases are lighter than air, causing the bladder to float.  Depending on the age, diet, and health of the sloar-beast from which the bladders are harvested, the inflated organ will exhibit various hues – purple, red, yellow, even blue or green. 

The bladders are tethered to weights which secure them to the training floor so they are not carried away into the sky.  Trainees then strike the bladders with their blades.  The tethers are flexible enough and the bladders tough enough that a glancing blow will merely push them aside, bringing great shame to the trainee.

*It is a common misconception that the first through fourth bladders of the sloar-beast are quite large, as the battle-displays of the enraged sloar involve what appear to be greatly inflated bladders along the creature's ventral line.  However, closer anatomical study shows that it is actually the first through fourth penises which are inflated in such displays.  The bladders associated with these penises are actually quite small in the adult sloar, having shrunk to a vestigial state by the third molting.  The eighth bladder and its attendant penis are too horrible to discuss. 

--Steve Kilian

Gorland

The Blue Lion