It Beats Fruitcake!

 
♪We three kings of orient are ♪ bearing gifts we traverse afar ♪…

I still can’t believe we’re doing this! This was a great idea! I mean, just dropping everything and hitting the road like this…

Well, it’s not every day a new star appears in the sky. Got to follow the new star.

What do you think it is?

What do you mean?

A comet? A moon?

I think it’s a holy sign from God, announcing the Messiah!

Yes, we all do, but it’s still got to be…made of something. Fire? Rock?

It’s made up of holy stuff. I don’t know.

Oh. I thought you were a Magi.

I’m a king. I’ve got astronomers who figure out the skies for me. I have no idea what the star’s made of. What are regular stars made of?

Yeah, it’s probably all the same thing. Space fire or something. Anyway, it’s great we all get to go on this road trip together. All I know is, everybody back in our exotic lands better worship this kid when we’re done with all of this, or they’ve only got themselves to blame. I wonder how our kingdoms are doing without us.

My son rules in my place. He will do me proud.

I’ve got a regent.

Oh, you guys…hmm….

Who rules in your stead?

Oh…I’ve…I’ve got a…guy. Good…good guy. It should all be fine. I mean, how long are we going to be gone, anyway, right? So…what are you guys bringing for The Messiah?

Gold.

Gold? That box you’ve got there is full of gold?

Yes. Gold for the Messiah.

Oh.

What are you bringing?

Um…you know…Frankincense.

Oh. What’s that?

It’s a scented oil.

And you?

Um…some myrrh.

What’s that?

Scented oil. Good for babies, ’cause they, you know…

Poop.

It’s good for the poop! Smells nice!

So, nice gift.

We’ve all got good gifts. Frankincense, Myrrh, we’ve got the scented oils covered…and gold.

All shall be welcome for the New King!

Say…you want to go in on this?

What do you mean?

You know, present all the gifts together. Instead of everyone gives one thing, we all present this potpourri of gifts. It’ll be better presentationally.

Hm. Let me think about it.

♪ Field and fountain, moor and mountain, ♪ following yonder star!  ♪

--Dan Kilian

The Second Miracle

The Legion of Santas