Friday, September 9, 2011

Attention Ladies:

Regarding eyebrow-tweezing, please exercise some restraint.  While it is certainly fine to pluck the odd errant hair, there is no call to get obsessive about your eyebrows.  Taken in the abstract, eyebrows are fairly disgusting things:  a row of bristles, the purpose of which is to prevent secretions from the flesh skull-covering above from dripping into the seeping gelatinous light-traps that typically occur below.  And don't get me started on the nose – a mucus- and hair-lined tube for filtering solids from the air – yeesh.  The human head in general is really a mass of sensor pods of varying degrees of repulsiveness, prone to discharges both thick and runny, a gnashing mass of orifices emanating sounds which should drive any thinking person completely insane.  So if your eyebrow is not quite arched the way you'd like it, it doesn't really matter.  That's like saying the maggots on a rotting goat aren't lined up quite right.  It's simply not material.  So relax.

--Steve Kilian


The House of Wrongs

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