Sunday, November 25, 2018

IST or Loving the Alien

In the hyper-elite subsector of international sex tourism which is our livelihood and passion, it appears that the more prosaic amusements are no longer considered cutting edge.  One can’t wave a run-of-the-mill invitation to an East Berlin orgy factory in front of a true connoisseur and expect to stay in business.  We have moved well beyond that.  Now we do a brisk trade in endangered species zoophilia.  Turtles are particularly prized, often with a clutch of eggs thrown into the mix.  Whole, cracked, just-hatched, no-yolks, yolks-only – whatever is pleasurable

But now we have something . . . special.  I am very pleased to offer to you, the Select, this remarkable opportunity.  Recent discoveries in Uzbekistan have led to a great deal of archaeological and military interest.  Fortunately, we have several associates in this region of the world, and have come into possession of two entirely intact specimens of unknown antiquity but incontrovertible quality. 

It appears that these creatures secured themselves in some sort of stasis pod – already determined to be easily breached by mechanical means – shortly before crashing down into the Uzbek forests at some point in the past.  As you can see from these x-ray photographs the creatures have various breathing or eating ports that would be delicious points of sexual entry.  The clefts where the ventral tentacles join the sub-thorax also present exquisite friction sites.  The dorsal protuberances need no elaboration as to their potential. 


Ladies and gentlemen, may I suggest an opening bid of forty-five million dollars? 

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