Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Regarding the Events off of Mayburn Key, July 23rd, 1964

Warning: Salty language ahoy, you fucks!

Sit right back and enjoy this tale
It's the tale of some fucked up shit
Some stupid motherfuckers get all fucked up
On their fucked up ship

They sailed all around and got all fucked up
They did not know shit from fuck
I'm telling you son they were so fucked up
They were shit out of luck

They kept on sailing -- all fucked up
For a long long fucking while
Then they came across a shitty little rock:
Gilligan's fucked up Isle.
Gilligan's fucked up Isle.

(Tin whistle solo interlude)

The skipper was a douche, a total asshole
A drunken Irish fuck
Incompetent as shit, couldn't read a chart
The reason they were fucking stuck

Gilligan's a tard or at least
Severely learning disabled
Prob'ly sucked a dick to get his fucking job
What a piece of shit.

They didn't give a fuck for the passengers
They'd kill them just for fun
Sodomizing the ladies first
Including the old-ass one

They were both junkies from way back when
In their time in the merchant marine
Skipper was a serial rapist then
The cruelest fuck you'd ever seen

He had a nipple collection in an old briefcase
And clits in a mason jar
He's burn his own scrotum with a lit cigarette
And he's happy to show the scars

That twisted fuck kept cats in a cage
Down in the fucking hold
I don't know what he did with those shits
Truth be fucking told
Truth be fucking told

(More tin whistle with some jug)

--Steve Kilian
Olde Tails Of The Sea
Fake Piranha Repellent

1 comment:

  1. Futtock Shrouds, ye've made my day!